How can we share ashes between family members?

celebrate the life of your loved ones with a personal memorial service

How can family members share ashes?

We often receive questions about ways for family members to share ashes or share in the ceremony of scattering ashes. This has been especially true recently when so many people have not been able to attend the funerals or memorial services of their loved ones.

What if our family can’t decide what to do with our loved one’s ashes?

Everyone will have their own ideas about what to do with a loved one’s ashes and, at such a difficult and emotional time, it’s not always easy to agree. You could share ashes equally between family members or, alternatively, give a keepsake to each family member and plan to do something special together with the remainder. Later on, we’ll explore some options to suit different family’s needs.

How can we choose urns that suit everyone?

We’re all individuals and each has had their own unique relationship with the person who has passed away. It’s only natural that we might not all want the same kind of ashes memorial. Thankfully, nowadays there is a lot more choice of beautiful urns, keepsakes and memorials so everyone will find something that is perfect for them.

How will the ashes come from the funeral director?

You can talk to your funeral director about how you would like your loved one’s ashes to be returned to you. You may wish to have simple or temporary containers such as Scatter Tubes or Findon Urns if you are scattering ashes, or if you are finding it difficult to make an immediate decision on suitable urns or keepsakes. Once you’ve made your choices, you may wish to divide or transfer the ashes yourselves, or you may prefer that the funeral director do this for you. They will do whatever you wish and whatever choice you make is best for your own family circumstances. Most funeral directors will offer an ashes transfer service even long after the funeral is past and the ashes have been returned.

What if we can’t agree on where to scatter the ashes?

Sometimes family members may find it difficult to agree on where to scatter ashes. Everyone may have different locations in mind that may be significant to them, personally, or to their own memories of the deceased. Dividing the ashes for separate scattering ceremonies may be the best choice if you can’t all decide. Alternatively, you could each have a small token to scatter individually but have a joint family scattering as well. Scatter Tubes are perfect for this as they come in many lovely designs and lots of sizes. Scatter Pouches are another option – simple, beautiful ashes containers handwoven in eco-friendly natural bamboo.

How can we send ashes to family abroad or far away?

Some families are divided by long distances and it is not always possible for everyone to attend a funeral or memorial service. Receiving a quantity of a loved one’s ashes can be very helpful for processing grief, enabling those final goodbyes, or creating lasting keepsakes or memorials. Findon Urns can be a perfect choice as they have many features designed to make them perfect for transportation. Simple, lightweight yet sturdy, and both biodegradable and recyclable.

5 creative ways to share ashes in a family

  • Divide and personalise. If your family want to keep ashes, you can divide them, letting each person choose and personalise the urn, keepsake or memorial that is right for them. Everyone is different and the best memorials are those that represent our own personal relationships with our loved ones.
  • Sharing the Scattering. If your family plan to scatter the ashes, you can ask your Funeral Director to divide them into smaller scatter tubes or scatter pouches. You can each take part in the scattering of your loved one’s ashes which can be a very touching way to say your last goodbyes.
  • Sending with Love. If you need to send ashes to a family member abroad, or at a distance, we have containers designed with that in mind. Our Findon Urns are perfect for ashes repatriation or transportation. Ashes are concealed below a shelf which is removable in case the contents need to be inspected en route. Scatter tubes can also be used to safely transport ashes.
  • Visiting Rites. Some families prefer not to keep ashes indoors or at home. Our Highdown Urn can be buried, kept in a garden, on a patio or terrace, in a memorial niche at a garden of remembrance. You could choose a place your family can all visit regularly as an alternative to splitting up the ashes. If circumstances change, the Highdown is designed to be easy to move, even from below ground, so you never have to worry about leaving your loved one behind.
  • Share the Care. If your family prefer not to divide the ashes there is still a way to share them. Find an urn you can all agree on and create a family rota to share their guardianship. A Photo Frame Urn can be an ideal choice as they are both personal and discreet. Bringing family members together to celebrate the life of a loved one, share memories of happy times and hand over the care of the ashes to the next guardian can be a wonderful way to keep memories alive and families together.

Why choose Tributes products for sharing ashes?

Our beautiful keepsakes and ashes memorials come in a wide range of sizes, styles and materials. Personalise your keepsake or urn with engraved names and dates, images or messages, photos, locks of hair or fingerprints. Create your own memorial or keepsake using our easy-to-use online design tool or handy templates to make something truly unique. From lovely natural wooden Heart Keepsakes or Keepsake Candles to Huggable Keepsake Urns and Photo Frames with hidden ashes urns – there is something for everyone to make their own.

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